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----- Cat Breeds -----
  • Abyssinian
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Kitty Speaker ----- Cat Breeds -----
  • Javanese
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Cornish Rex Cat Videos - Cornish Rex Kitty Video

Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat?

A: When you are a mouse!

Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip?

A: To a mewseum.

Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing, scratching cat fight?

A: Claude

Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day?

A: Mice cream

Q: What do you call it when a cat bites?

 A: Catnip!

Q: What did the female cat say to the male cat?

A: You re the purrfect cat for me!

Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?

A: It’s meow-sic to their ears!

Q: What’s every cat’s favorite song?

 A: Three Blind Mice!

Q: Where do cats write down notes?

A: Scratch Paper!

Q: Why does everyone love cats?

A: They re purr-fect!

Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons?

A: A sourpuss!


Q: What do you call a cat Who’s joined the Red Cross?

A: A first-aid kit!

Q: Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

A: Catch.

Q: What’s a cat’s favorite food?

A: Petatoes!

Q: What’s a cat’s second favorite food?

A: Spa-catti!

Q: What kind of work does a weak cat do?

A: Light mouse work.

Q: What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

Q: How do cats buy things?

A: From a cat-alogue!

Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?

A: Because she wanted to mail a litter.

Q: What do you call it when a cat stops?

A: A paws!

Q: Why do cats eat fur balls?

A: Because they love a good gag!

Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

A: Catsup!

Q: What do you call a chubby kitty?

A: A fat cat!

Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed the duck?

A: She became a duck-filled fatty-puss!

Q: Why couldn’t the cat speak?

A: The dog taped his mouth.

Kitty Jokes:

·         A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!

·         Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is it on fire ?

·         What looks like half a cat ? The other half !

·         What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ? She had mittens !

·         What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot !

·         How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!

·         How do cats eat spaghetti ? The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!

·         What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !

·         What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?I mpaw !

·         How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold ? He has cat-arrh !

·         How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ? She’s got that down in the mouth look !

·         What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ? An animal that puts you out a night !

·         What is the cat’s favorite TV show ? The evening mews !

·         How is cat food sold ? Usually purr can !

·         What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?Miaooooooooooooooooow !

·         What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have ? A catastrophe !

·         What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ? A cat-a-logue !

·         What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ? An octopuss !

·         Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !

·         Who was the most powerful cat in China ? Chairman Miaow !

·         What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !

·         What is cleverer than a talking cat ? A spelling bee !

·         How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk !

·         What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ? Santa Claws !

·         There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left ?None. They were all copy cats !

·         What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea ? A catameringue !

·         Why do tomcats fight ? Because they like raising a stink !

·         Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ? They are both ginger nuts !

·         What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ? A duck filled fatty puss !

·         What kind of cat should you take into the desert ? A first aid kitty !

·         Why do cats chase birds ? For a lark !

·         What do cats read in the morning ?Mewspapers !

·         On what should you mount a statue of your cat ? A caterpillar !

·         What cat purrs more than any other ?Purrsians !

·         Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge ? Because it turns “ice” into “mice” !

·         When the cat’s away…..? The house smells better !

·         Why was the cat so small ? Because it only ate condensed milk !

·         What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !

·         What do you call a cat wearing shoes ? Puss in boots !

·         What does a cat call a bowl of mice ? A purrfectmeal !

·         What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !

·         What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !

·         Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning? Because they re let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

·         Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ? There was some money in the kitty !

·         Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !

·         When is it unlucky to see a black cat ? When your a mouse !

·         Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !

·         What did the black cat say to the fish ? I’ve got a bone to pick with you !

·         What’s furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws ? A posse cat !

·         What is a black cat’s favourite TV show ? Miami Mice !

·         What do you call a black cat than can spring up to a six foot wall ? A good jumpurr !

·         Why are black cats such good singers? They re very mewsical.

·         Teacher: Name four members of the cat family Pupil: Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !

·         Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !

·         When the cat’s away…..? The house smells better !

·         Why was the cat so small ? Because it only ate condensed milk !

·         What is another way to describe a cat ? A heat seeking missile !

·         What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !

·         What is an octopus? An eight-sided cat.

·         A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. “Excuse me”, he said to the cat in charge, “Can you get milk stains out?” “Sure,” replied the cat. “We ll have that stain licked in a minute!”

·         Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of the tree bark.

·         If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get? An a-cat-emy award.

·         When you call a dog, they usually come to you. When you call a cat; they take a message.

·         Doctor, said the patient, “I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!” “How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked. “Lest’s see,” said the patient, “Mom had the litter in 41

 

Reference: http://www.free-funny-jokes.com

Fat Cat Heaven

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'

The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.'

God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says...

'Oh, I've never been happier in my life.
And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best.

Reference: http://www.superlaugh.com

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