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CAT JOKES










Cat Jokes - Cat Haiku - Cat Videos - Funny Cats - Kitty Video

Negotiating

No-man's land: carpet alive,

Flea season again

 

In deep sleep hear sound

cat vomit hairball somewhere

will find in morning

 

Night. Now come night-mice.

I chase them 'round on loud feet.

You can't see them too?

 

The mighty hunter

Returns with gifts of plump birds -

Your foot just squashed one

 

My small cardboard box.

You cannot see me if I

can just hide my head.

 

Small brave carnivores

Kill pine cones and mosquitoes

Fear vacuum cleaner

 

Wanna go outside.

Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!

Let me back inside!

 

Cats meow out of angst

"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!

We could break so much!"

 

We're almost equals

I purr to show I love you

Want to smell my butt?

 

I need a new toy.

Tail of black dog keeps good time.

pounce! good dog! good dog!

 

Cat, fearless hunter

leaves 'presents' for me near door

next time I'll wear shoes

 

Blur of motion, then -

silence, me, a paper bag.

What is so funny?

 

You must scratch me there!

Yes, above my tail! Behold,

elevator butt.

 

Terrible battle.

I fought for hours. Come and see!

What's a 'term paper'?

 

Want to trim my claws?

Don't even think about it!

My yelps will wake dead.

 

Oh no! Big One

Has been trapped by newspaper!

Cat to the rescue!

 

Litter box not here

You must have moved it again

I'll crap in the sink.

 

The rule for today

Touch my tail, I shred your hand

New rule tomorrow

 

Grace personified,

I leap into the window.

I meant to do that.

 

You never feed me.

Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.

That will sure show you.

 

You're always typing.

Well, let's see you ignore my

Sitting on your hands.

 

Kitty likes plastic

Confuses for litter box

Don't leave tarp around

 

I want to be close

To you. Can I fit my head

Inside your armpit?

 

Humans are so strange.

Mine lies still in bed, then screams!

My claws aren't that sharp ...

 

The Big Ones snore now

Every room is dark and cold

Time for "Cup Hockey"

 

Reference: http://www.zadzilka.com

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