Cat Jokes - Cat Sayings - Cat Videos - Funny Cats - Kitty Video

·         A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand.

·         There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

·         There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

·         Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

·         No Heaven will ever Heaven be unless my cats are there to welcome me.

·         If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it will haunt you forever.

·         I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

·         Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.

·         Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match the carpet.

·         Cat's motto: "No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look as if the dog did it."

·         To respect a cat is the beginning of the aesthetic sense.

·         "Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data." - Anonymous science professor to student

·         A cat knows you are the key to his happiness... a man thinks he is.

·         "Outside of a cat, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a cat, it's too dark to read." - Sign at Lilac Hedge Bookshop, Norwich, VT

·         Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

·         Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

·         "Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time." - advice from kids

·         You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

·         "Humans: No fur, no paws, no tail. They run away from mice. They never get enough sleep. How can you help but love such an absurd animal?" - An anonymous cat about Homo sapiens

·         The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how he regards cats.

·         Blessed are those who love cats, for they shall never be lonely.

·         When I'm in the doghouse, my cats still come to visit.

·         A rose has thorns, a cat has claws; certainly both are worth the risk.

·         There are hundreds of good reasons for having a cat, but all you need is one.

·         A person who manages to understand a cat is qualified to understand most anything else.

·         Buy a dog a toy, and he'll play with it forever. Buy a cat a present, and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

·         Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not there yet, will be.

·         Cats have amazingly keen hearing but go conveniently deaf when you call.

·         "If human, cats might play solitare, but they would never sit around with the gang and a few six-packs watching Monday Night Football." - Time Magazine, Dec.7, 1981

·         Cats have incredible vision - but they never see your flaws.

·         Cats are better than any vice. They're not fattening, dangerous, or expensive. However, they can be addictive.

·         A cat makes all the difference between coming home to an empty house and coming home.

·         Owning a cat is a good forerunner of marriage. You learn that you cannot control another living being, or expect him/her to do everything you want.

·         If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

·         I'm not much of a cook. My favorite thing to make from scratch is a purr.

·         Nine lives added to my one life makes a perfect 10.

·         "If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." - advice from kids

·         A cat will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.

·         Some people see the glass as half empty, some as half full. I look for the cat who drank the water.

·         Life is hard. Soften yours with a cat.

·         Happiness does not light gently on my shoulder like a butterfly. She pounces on my lap, demanding that I scratch behind her ears.

·         Owning a cat is like reading a good novel - just when you think you know the main character, she'll surprise you on the very next page.

·         A thing of beauty, strength, and grace lies behind that whiskered face.

·         Cats are like music. It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them.

·         Cats whiskers are so sensitive, they can find their way through the narrowest crack in a broken heart.

·         If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his cat thinks of him.

·         Every life should have nine cats.

·         It's really the cat's house. I just pay the mortgage.

·         A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization.

·         A cat which is kept as a household pet may properly be considered a thing of value. It ministers to the pleasures of its owner and serves with honor.

·         We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he comes to the house the cat sits on his knee.

·         For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

·         It's always blackest just before you step on the cat.

·         Cats are like potato chips. You can never have just one.

·         If you can remember how many cats you have, you don't have enough.

·         Cats are so unpredictable. You just never know how they'll ignore you next.

·         Never underestimate the power of a purr.

·         A cat knows exactly what you are, and treats you accordingly.

·         Children are like cats, they can tell when you don't like them. That's when they come over and violate your body space.

·         Everyone knows cats are on a higher level of existence. These silly humans are just too big-headed to admit their inferiority.

·         There is a proof for God's existance: (S)he made cats.

·         I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but his or her entertainment value.

·         Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives.

·         Cats leave pawprints on our hearts.

·         Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats.

·         Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

·         All cats look gray in the dark.

·         A cat has nine lives.

·         The cat is honest when the meat is out of her reach.

·         It takes a good many mice to kill a cat.

·         A cornered cat becomes as fierce as a lion.

·         If you don't feed the cats you must feed the rats.

·         Wanton kittens make sober cats.

·         The cat is a good friend but she scratches.

·         After a time, even the dog begins to compromise with the cat.

·         When the cat is away the mice will play.

·         These aren't my thoughts, they're my cat walking on the keyboard.

Reference:  http://mysmelly.com