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Cat Jokes - Cat Sayings - Cat Videos - Funny Cats - Kitty Video
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A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand.
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There is no snooze button on a cat who wants
breakfast.
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There are many intelligent species in the
universe. They are all owned by cats.
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Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they
are God.
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No Heaven will ever Heaven be unless my cats are
there to welcome me.
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If you take even one of a cat's nine lives, it
will haunt you forever.
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I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
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Never feed your cat anything that doesn't match
the carpet.
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Cat's motto: "No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look as if the dog did it."
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To respect a cat is the beginning of the
aesthetic sense.
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"Don't use cats - they'll screw up your data." -
Anonymous science professor to student
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A cat knows you are the key to his happiness... a
man thinks he is.
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"Outside of a cat, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a cat, it's too dark to read." - Sign at Lilac Hedge Bookshop,
Norwich, VT
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Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
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Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and
patronizes human beings.
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"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same
time." - advice from kids
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You know when people see a cat's litter box, they
always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for
company!"
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"Humans: No fur, no paws, no tail. They run away
from mice. They never get enough sleep. How can you help but love such an absurd
animal?" - An anonymous cat about Homo sapiens
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The purity of a person's heart can be quickly
measured by how he regards cats.
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Blessed are those who love cats, for they shall
never be lonely.
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When I'm in the doghouse, my cats still come to
visit.
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A rose has thorns, a cat has claws; certainly
both are worth the risk.
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There are hundreds of good reasons for having a
cat, but all you need is one.
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A person who manages to understand a cat is
qualified to understand most anything else.
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Buy a dog a toy, and he'll play with it forever.
Buy a cat a present, and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not
there yet, will be.
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Cats have amazingly keen hearing but go
conveniently deaf when you call.
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"If human, cats might play solitare, but they
would never sit around with the gang and a few six-packs watching Monday Night
Football." - Time Magazine, Dec.7, 1981
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Cats have incredible vision - but they never see
your flaws.
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Cats are better than any vice. They're not
fattening, dangerous, or expensive. However, they can be addictive.
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A cat makes all the difference between coming
home to an empty house and coming home.
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Owning a cat is a good forerunner of marriage.
You learn that you cannot control another living being, or expect him/her to do
everything you want.
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If you want a
kitten,
start out by asking for a horse.
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I'm not much of a
cook. My favorite thing to make from scratch is a purr.
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Nine lives added to my one life makes a perfect
10.
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"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a
horse." - advice from kids
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A cat will wait until you've read your morning
paper before tearing it to shreds.
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Some people see the glass as half empty, some as
half full. I look for the cat who drank the water.
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Life is hard. Soften yours with a cat.
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Happiness does not light gently on my shoulder
like a butterfly. She pounces on my lap, demanding that I scratch behind her
ears.
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Owning a cat is like reading a good novel - just
when you think you know the main character, she'll surprise you on the very next
page.
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A thing of beauty, strength, and grace lies
behind that whiskered face.
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Cats are like music. It's foolish to try to
explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them.
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Cats whiskers are so sensitive, they can find
their way through the narrowest crack in a broken heart.
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If you want to know the character of a man, find
out what his cat thinks of him.
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Every life should have nine cats.
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It's really the cat's house. I just pay the
mortgage.
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A cat is an example of sophistication minus
civilization.
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A cat which is kept as a household pet may
properly be considered a thing of value. It ministers to the pleasures of its
owner and serves with honor.
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We have a friend who hates cats. Every time he
comes to the house the cat sits on his knee.
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For a man to truly understand rejection, he must
first be ignored by a cat.
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It's always blackest just before you step on the
cat.
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Cats are like potato chips. You can never have
just one.
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If you can remember how many cats you have, you
don't have enough.
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Cats are so unpredictable. You just never know
how they'll ignore you next.
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Never underestimate the power of a purr.
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A cat knows exactly what you are, and treats you
accordingly.
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Children are like cats, they can tell when you
don't like them. That's when they come over and violate your body space.
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Everyone knows cats are on a higher level of
existence. These silly humans are just too big-headed to admit their
inferiority.
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There is a proof for God's existance: (S)he made
cats.
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I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in
a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted,
but his or her entertainment value.
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Some people have cats and go on to lead normal
lives.
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Cats leave pawprints on our hearts.
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Every dog has his day - but the nights are
reserved for the cats.
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Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as
gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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All cats look gray in the dark.
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A cat has nine lives.
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The cat is honest when the meat is out of her
reach.
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It takes a good many mice to kill a cat.
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A cornered cat becomes as fierce as a lion.
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If you don't feed the cats you must feed the
rats.
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Wanton kittens make sober cats.
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The cat is a good friend but she scratches.
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After a time, even the dog begins to compromise
with the cat.
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When the cat is away the mice will play.
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These aren't my thoughts, they're my cat walking
on the keyboard.
Reference:
http://mysmelly.com